Today I went to see Battersea Power Station, partly for the exhibition there at the moment, but mainly to see the power station itself. It was five kinds of awesome.
Battersea Power Station was built in two halves, Station A in 1939 and Station B in 1955, together forming the four-chimneyed station that stands today. Together, they produced 20% of London’s electricity, and after being fully closed in 1983 (Station A was closed in 1975) it still remains to be one of the most recognised features of the London skyline.
Now when you first go to the Tate Modern and go into the turbine hall, you can't help but be impressed (and maybe even a little bit pant-soilingly scared) by the massive space in front of you. Well let me tell you, that's like an airing cupboard in comparison to Battersea. There's even two of 'em! |
The whole building, designed by Sir Giles Gilbert Scott (the same guy who designed the red telephone box), is a monument to what can be done with bricks and concrete. It is a beautiful landmark that should remain how it is for ever and ever, and for people to wander around in amazement. It truly is a thing of beauty.
But now, they want to do this to it: |
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AAAAAAH! What the hell have they done? They’re going to make it a nice glass and steel construction with a hotel and a conference centre and a nice relaxing restaurant. Just like EVERY OTHER BIT OF LONDON. What on earth’s going on? They’re planning on taking this post-modern cultural icon of strength, power and utility and turning it into an icon of pointless, watered-down moping about! With grass on the roof! And don’t even get me started on the ridiculous 90 degree 'showcase twist' at the side. |
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Now can you see that little blue bubble on top of the chimney closest to us in the picture? That’s going to be a restaurant. But it’s a bit small for a restaurant, isn’t it? Yes. That’s why it’s going to be a one-table restaurant. Out of all the crazy never-gonna-happen ideas that have been fed into this project, this is the most insane. Why not have a three-man ballroom atop another one? Oh no, wait, you've already got a ridiculously huge one out the front that looks like an inverted bowl that no one's ever going to use. My bad.
Every single bit of London is slowly being turned into windy, open-plan complexes made of glass and steel. Everything is bright and shiny and new. Everything is also watery, uninteresting and THE SAME AS EVERYTHING ELSE. This power station is a beautiful monolith to functionality and design, and somebody has planned to turn it into one big Pizza Express. In my opinion, it’s going to be a tragic failure from the beginning. After all, it’s still going to be called ‘The Power Station’, because “The Power Station is a catalyst, a place to expect the unexpected, to create possibility. Inspiring creativity, inspiring thought, inspiring people.” Inspiring vomit.
“Imagine a classic icon transformed into a contemporary one” says the brochure. No. I don’t want to. To be frank, I’m quite happy with my classic icon, and since there are plenty of contemporary buildings around, can’t you just leave it alone, and take your shallow ponds and shopping complexes elsewhere? Some things just don't want to be regenerated, and this is one of them. Power to the people!
(Coming soon: Pictures!) |
